Pee.

I hate using restrooms in China. HATE IT!

No, it's not because they are poorly designed, improperly maintained, or even unhygienic. I hate using restrooms in China because Chinese men are RETARDED when it comes to proper male restroom etiquette.

Here is a quick brush-up on male restroom etiquette - it's a long video, but well worth the time if only to brush up on the rules. As an addendum, implicit within the rule of no eye contact and not looking at another person is the rule of always looking upwards while peeing in a urinal so as to avoid accidentally looking at the face (staring straight) or the genitals (staring down) of any fellow restroom patron. These are the rules that I have grown up with and respect and follow to this day.

Unfortunately, these are not the rules that Chinese men follow.

Chinese men generally stare down (worst. direction. possible.) when using a urinal. They start unbuckling their belts and taking off their pants as soon as they enter the restroom. They heartily greet and strike up a conversation with another while they pee. They openly flaunt the urinal spacing rules and will use one next to you even if there is an open one farther away. All these egregious violations of societal norm are enough to make me hate using Chinese restrooms, but the coup de grace is in the Chinese man's refusal to aim.

While traveling around China, one will often encounter stickers with the phrase "往前一小步，文明一大步" pasted on urinals. This phrase roughly translates to: a small step forward is a giant leap in civility. Why, one may ask, are these stickers so ubiquitous in China? It's precisely because Chinese men apparently have a favorite pastime - to see how far back they can step from the urinal and still pee in it. This disgusting hobby leads to puddles of pee beneath the urinals and make Chinese male restrooms a freaking mine field. The problem has gotten so bad that one company has replaced the "往前一小步，文明一大步" stickers with "尿不到池里说明你短；尿到池外说明你软" (if you can't pee inside the bowl, you're short, if you pee outside the bowl, you're soft).

I don't know why Chinese men don't follow the rules. All I know is that I would greatly appreciate a clean restroom with no one talking to me or looking at me as I do my business.

UPDATE (5/14/2010): I've worked hard to try and get a picture of the pee puddles that exist in our office's restroom, but given the tile background (white), the color of the liquid (clear), and the quality of my camera (bberry) it's been difficult. Guess you guys will have to take me at my word for now.

UPDATE 2: Pay close attention to where the light hits at the center of the photo. By the way, the cleaning ladies mop up under the urinals once every hour, just to give you an idea how nasty it would be in a public restroom with no continuous janitorial services.

Here: