On Inhibition...

They say alcohol lowers inhibition. I believe it.

But you know what can work equally well? Distance and time. Given the right distance away from one's community for a long enough time, and one's inhibitions begin to drop.

We'll see how this turns out...

Because of the short post, here's a little bonus: One of my all time favorite songs.

On rudeness

I was talking to a co-worker today, sharing personal stories of just how rude many Chinese people are. We were mainly talking about the pushing and shoving that usually occurs whenever Chinese people are lined up and how many Chinese people cut lines utterly shamelessly.

More examples of Chinese rudeness include but are not limited to (heh, I'm a lawyer... give me a break!):

1. Not holding elevator doors open

2. Talking loudly in public places

3. Honking at pedestrians

4. Spitting in the direction of people

Basically, many Chinese people find it difficult to empathize and be considerate of others; character flaws that I usually attribute to China's HUGE population, overcrowding, and third world upbringing (i.e. too many people to worry about, there's no possibility of privacy anyways, and why worry about others when I myself have too many problems to deal with). But will a reduced population, less crowding, and a more developed country really lead to more polite Chinese people? Or are these Chinese people's inability to think of their fellow man rooted in something else? I really have no idea. I guess only time will tell.

Meanwhile, I have days where I just want to get into fights with rude people to "teach" them a lesson. But in my calmer more rational moments, I realize that my motive for beating up these rude people is not so much to change them, but to punish them for being jackasses. The problem with that, however, is that most Chinese people don't think they're doing anything wrong when they steal your taxi or scream loudly into their cellphones in a restaurant. So how should I deal with these people?

A member of my church small group suggested "killing them with kindness;" changing Chinese people by showing them that it's not a zero-sum game, that you don't really lose anything by excusing yourself from the restaurant and talking outside or properly waiting in line for a taxi. It's the only right approach - I mean, I wouldn't be showing much empathy if I just assumed that these people were being rude on purpose and condemned them for it. That would just be downright hypocritical of me. And it is also the only way to ensure that you're not unfairly punishing those people that aren't being rude on purpose but are only doing it out of ignorance.

But it's hard... It's hard to swallow righteous anger and take the higher road. It's harder when Chinese people think you're a sucker for doing it.

Forget mortgage crisis, try murder sprees...

Check out C. Cindy Fan - "A Polarizing Society" in this NYTimes article.

Ms. Fan's article deals with the recent trend of Chinese men breaking into schools and attacking, sometimes fatally, small children. One of these attackers was Mr. Zheng Minsheng, a 42 year old ex-surgeon. The article tries to explore the motivation behind Mr. Zheng's, and other similar single men's, attack on young children.

Of particular interest are Ms. Fan's discussion on the Mr. Zheng's inability to get married:

"Although Zheng could support himself, his modest income made him a weak contender in the marriage market. According to neighbors, Zheng had dated many women, but none was willing to marry him because he was not rich and could not afford an apartment for himself. In China, still, the ability to own or at least rent a place of one’s own is often a precondition for getting married."

For the sake of Chinese children everywhere, I sincerely hope that rising housing prices isn't a cause of these senseless murders because it doesn't look like Chinese urban housing prices are going to get cheaper anytime soon.

Pee.

I hate using restrooms in China. HATE IT!

No, it's not because they are poorly designed, improperly maintained, or even unhygienic. I hate using restrooms in China because Chinese men are RETARDED when it comes to proper male restroom etiquette.

Here is a quick brush-up on male restroom etiquette - it's a long video, but well worth the time if only to brush up on the rules. As an addendum, implicit within the rule of no eye contact and not looking at another person is the rule of always looking upwards while peeing in a urinal so as to avoid accidentally looking at the face (staring straight) or the genitals (staring down) of any fellow restroom patron. These are the rules that I have grown up with and respect and follow to this day.

Unfortunately, these are not the rules that Chinese men follow.

Chinese men generally stare down (worst. direction. possible.) when using a urinal. They start unbuckling their belts and taking off their pants as soon as they enter the restroom. They heartily greet and strike up a conversation with another while they pee. They openly flaunt the urinal spacing rules and will use one next to you even if there is an open one farther away. All these egregious violations of societal norm are enough to make me hate using Chinese restrooms, but the coup de grace is in the Chinese man's refusal to aim.

While traveling around China, one will often encounter stickers with the phrase "往前一小步，文明一大步" pasted on urinals. This phrase roughly translates to: a small step forward is a giant leap in civility. Why, one may ask, are these stickers so ubiquitous in China? It's precisely because Chinese men apparently have a favorite pastime - to see how far back they can step from the urinal and still pee in it. This disgusting hobby leads to puddles of pee beneath the urinals and make Chinese male restrooms a freaking mine field. The problem has gotten so bad that one company has replaced the "往前一小步，文明一大步" stickers with "尿不到池里说明你短；尿到池外说明你软" (if you can't pee inside the bowl, you're short, if you pee outside the bowl, you're soft).

I don't know why Chinese men don't follow the rules. All I know is that I would greatly appreciate a clean restroom with no one talking to me or looking at me as I do my business.

UPDATE (5/14/2010): I've worked hard to try and get a picture of the pee puddles that exist in our office's restroom, but given the tile background (white), the color of the liquid (clear), and the quality of my camera (bberry) it's been difficult. Guess you guys will have to take me at my word for now.

UPDATE 2: Pay close attention to where the light hits at the center of the photo. By the way, the cleaning ladies mop up under the urinals once every hour, just to give you an idea how nasty it would be in a public restroom with no continuous janitorial services.

Here:

Heart-Break

I didn't always relish the idea of going to church. And a note posted by a friend on Facebook really got me thinking about my own struggles with the idea of attending church.

Back in Argentina, church was just another place that I had to go to in a crazy packed week. (m-f: school, sat: Chinese school, sun: church). Fast forward a few years and a couple thousand miles later, the church in Houston was quite possibly the reason I stopped going to church for such a long time. A combination of youthful rebellion, questioning of my own faith (existence? extent?), external circumstances, and ignorance drove quite a wedge between the idea of attending church and me.

Then, God, in his infinite wisdom (and machination!) led me to New York City. And to NYU's Christian Legal Fellowship. And then to Redeemer Presbyterian Church. And finally to Pastor Steve Wolma's City Grace Church. City Grace, where I heard Pastor Steve preach about the importance of going to church. Preaching of how the longing for fellowship and community that each person feels is only ever satisfied by worshipping and praising together the one and only thing in the universe that is infinitely deserving of praise and glory.

Yet even now, the dread of making the trip to my church and of "wasting" a solid two hours still clings to the back of my head every Sunday. Then I go... out of duty, out of guilty, out of habit, or (increasingly often) out of joy, and I see the people at church around me, all basking in the communal worship and fellowship that is a church service, and I see in the faces of the people around me the love that they feel in God's presence, and I hear their voices ringing loudly proclaiming the glory, goodness, and faithfulness of our Lord... and my heart breaks. It breaks with pure uplifting joy. In those moments each Sunday, I am reminded of just how loved I am... and I get renewed strength and fortitude to face another week with joy and confidence.

It has been a lonely past two weeks. With the type of loneliness that catches one exposed and unaware - complicated all the more by homesickness. But the Lord who has ordained my life since the beginning of time has seen it fit to place me in this place (Shanghai), at this time, with this job, and with these people around me, so who am I to question His wisdom?

Well, actually, being the impish and incorrigible (read: smart-ass) boy that I am, I do question one thing about my current church. Why do the services not end in the traditional benediction that I've come to expect from my past churches?

It doesn't matter. I think I'll leave the mystery be. I'm fine with my current hypothesis: that this is just another quirk that China has to offer. Yes, just another cultural difference.