On rudeness

I was talking to a co-worker today, sharing personal stories of just how rude many Chinese people are. We were mainly talking about the pushing and shoving that usually occurs whenever Chinese people are lined up and how many Chinese people cut lines utterly shamelessly.

More examples of Chinese rudeness include but are not limited to (heh, I'm a lawyer... give me a break!):

1. Not holding elevator doors open

2. Talking loudly in public places

3. Honking at pedestrians

4. Spitting in the direction of people

Basically, many Chinese people find it difficult to empathize and be considerate of others; character flaws that I usually attribute to China's HUGE population, overcrowding, and third world upbringing (i.e. too many people to worry about, there's no possibility of privacy anyways, and why worry about others when I myself have too many problems to deal with). But will a reduced population, less crowding, and a more developed country really lead to more polite Chinese people? Or are these Chinese people's inability to think of their fellow man rooted in something else? I really have no idea. I guess only time will tell.

Meanwhile, I have days where I just want to get into fights with rude people to "teach" them a lesson. But in my calmer more rational moments, I realize that my motive for beating up these rude people is not so much to change them, but to punish them for being jackasses. The problem with that, however, is that most Chinese people don't think they're doing anything wrong when they steal your taxi or scream loudly into their cellphones in a restaurant. So how should I deal with these people?

A member of my church small group suggested "killing them with kindness;" changing Chinese people by showing them that it's not a zero-sum game, that you don't really lose anything by excusing yourself from the restaurant and talking outside or properly waiting in line for a taxi. It's the only right approach - I mean, I wouldn't be showing much empathy if I just assumed that these people were being rude on purpose and condemned them for it. That would just be downright hypocritical of me. And it is also the only way to ensure that you're not unfairly punishing those people that aren't being rude on purpose but are only doing it out of ignorance.

But it's hard... It's hard to swallow righteous anger and take the higher road. It's harder when Chinese people think you're a sucker for doing it.