Final Post.

To Michelle Sheng, my first friend here in China:

For teaching me all the wrong Chinese words;
For teaching me all the right Chinese jokes;
For convincing me to stick with my job even when I couldn't take it anymore;
For always being there;
For forgiving me more times that I can remember or count;
For allowing me to be selfish; and
For inspiring me to start this blog (and giving me the title for it).

This blog means nothing without your charm or your sense of humor. Thank you. Thank. You.

I'm sorry for always being so selfish - and for not being able to say these words to you face to face. Xie Xie.

lI've started a new blog. To remind myself to be thankful for all the blessings that I've received.

Thank You for loving me - http://givingthanksgivingthanks.blogspot.com/

Chinese New Years

Ah-mah

I had a dream about Ah-mah yesterday night. For some reason, my family and I were going to meet up in Japan on some random trip. It was good seeing her again.

I do miss her.

Daydreaming

I'm in the midst of a rare lull in my workload. It's quite relaxing and I have the chance to just be bored and self-reflect. Fitting, seeing as how new years is usually the time people self-reflect to think back on the previous year. As expected, I did not reach any breakthrough insight regarding my current situation in my self-reflection.

However, in e-mail correspondeces with my friend back home, I did glean something unexpected. To summarize, she reminded me that sometimes in life, we must take certain journeys even if they seem completely counterproductive or even damaging at the moment. Life is so weird sometimes. Thank God for friends who are there to help me make some sense of it all. Or at least accept it.

Changes

I am rarely reminded of my age. Mainly because I'm usually the youngest in my circle of friends. I have always been comfortable in this role (I'm a younger brother, most of my classmates were older than me, etc...).

But every now and then I get reminded of my real age (because really, in my mind, I'm still 17 years old). And today I was reminded of just how old I am (not like my body is breaking down or anything) when I found out a much younger friend of mine is going through the same thing I was going through when I was his age. Pretty crazy how there are certain watershed moments in our lives that pretty much everyone goes through.

Those memories are still as vivid as ever. And I want to go back to that time, but not because I long for youth, but because I want to tell my younger self how foolish and silly I was back then. Then again... I so rarely get to be foolish and silly anymore. Maybe I should go back to my younger self and tell him, be more foolish, be sillier, do stupid dumb things...

Because responsibility and maturity is a heavy burden. It has its rewards, but they ain't easy.

Regrets? I used to promise myself never to have regrets... because, what's the point? You can't change the past. Now? I... I don't know.

Land of the free... home of the brave

Even after 9 months here in Shanghai, home is still Orange, Texas. And I want to go home and see my family so so badly.

When my family first moved to Orange, I would still tell people that I lived in Houston. Even in law school, in my mind, home was Houston, not the rural small town where my family just happens to have a small business. But gradually, my views changed.

Now, Home is wherever my family is. Home is where my heart is. Home is where I long to be.

9 months (almost 10!) has been too long. Next year... I'm going Home more often. Going home to the two spoiled dogs, my wise and silly sister, my gracious and understanding mother and my wonderfully goofy and weird dad.

Land of the free, home of the brave... deep in the heart of Texas. Or something like that.