In need of hope

I called my sister yesterday, to vent my frustrations at my own inability to control my life. It has been the most stressful week ever at the firm. On top of that I was sick.

And I got to talking to Su, and we talked about her decision (back in my 1L year) to sell the motel. I totally understand why she would want to do that nowadays. But 5 years later, she seems to be accustomed to the everyday demands of the motel.

I wonder if I will be able to do the same with biglaw? Part of me desperately doesn't want to get "used to" biglaw, but on the other hand, right now, I have no better alternative. Plus, I'd really be wussing out if I didn't at least stick it out for a while longer.

I have no idea if I have what it takes. And I have no idea when/if I will break down. But if all it took was one week, then maybe I don't have what it takes. And maybe that's okay?

I really don't know anymore.